As I write this I’m forty one years old, I was adopted as an infant, I’m the oldest daughter of five, a wife for 20 years, and a mother of two. I was a high school literature and writing teacher for five years before my husband and I planted and co-pastored a Vineyard church in Chapel Hill, North Carolina for thirteen years. About five years ago I began to benefit from the deep work of spiritual direction after a second season of dark postpartum depression, and a nagging fear that I might be losing my faith. The God–loving Father, faithful Son, and powerful Holy Spirit–who had been easy for me to find, was just GONE. I couldn’t sense Him anywhere, and I could hardly load a dishwasher because the depression was so heavy. The love and support of my church community, an excellent psychotherapist, and a new relationship with a dear spiritual director provided the network of care I needed, and so God began to rewire my theology, my brain, and my way of being. A new, more still, more gentle voice, began revealing a more full, more mysterious, more expansive part of God…. And so I continue to follow God–more freely and more lightly than before. I’ve finally begun to know and understand Jesus’ mysterious words “my yoke is easy, my burden is light.